


The Buck Stops Here:The Avengers Woodland Creatures AU You Probably Never Missed

by peabodythecat



Category: Captain America, MCU, The Avengers
Genre: AU, Avengers are forest creatures, Crack, Even in squirrel form Steve doesn't tolerate bullies, Fluff, Hunting, Implied animal testing, Other, Steve is not a flying squirrel, Trapping, bucky worries about steve, hmmm maybe this rating needs to change, of the tail variety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-04-30 13:15:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5165129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peabodythecat/pseuds/peabodythecat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky was stuck.<br/>His magnificent antlers,his pride and joy...his downfall...were tangled in the barbed wire fence on the outskirts of Farmer Fury's farm. The more the deer struggled, the worse the situation became. He wasn't hurt, but his neck was bent awkwardly and he was growing tired from his efforts to free himself. </p>
<p>He could sense a human approaching and in the distance, he heard the baying of big dogs. He thrashed wildly but couldn't continue. The sharp barbs were tearing into his throat. The dogs would smell the blood. </p>
<p>For the life of him, Bucky couldn't remember how he'd gotten himself in this mess. He was pretty sure it was all Steve's fault.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It's Steve's Fault

**Author's Note:**

> I live in the country. All kinds of wild animals make their way into my backyard. My kiddo and I name them all. The other day a truly gorgeous deer was munching on the last of our windfall pears. Kiddo spies him and asks what his name is. Of course I reply, "That's Bucky Barnes, the Winter Soldier." And then this happened. 
> 
> I am so, so sorry.

Starring:  
Bucky The Deer and long suffering companion of...  
Steve Rogers, Squirrel Captain of the Woodland Brigade

Featuring:  
Bruce the Vegetarian Brown Bear   
Hawkeye the...Hawk (seriously, were you expecting something else?)  
Natasha the Sly Red Fox  
Tony the Very Clever Raccoon

With a very special Guest Appearance by:  
Phil the Kindly Woodsman

\-----  
Bucky was stuck.  
His magnificent antlers,his pride and joy...his downfall...were tangled in the barbed wire fence on the outskirts of Farmer Fury's farm. The more the deer struggled, the worse the situation became. He wasn't hurt, but his neck was bent awkwardly and he was growing tired from his efforts to free himself. 

He could sense a human approaching and in the distance, he heard the baying of big dogs. He thrashed wildly but couldn't continue. The sharp barbs were tearing into his throat. The dogs would smell the blood. 

For the life of him, Bucky couldn't remember how he'd gotten himself in this mess. He was pretty sure it was all Steve's fault. 

Earlier ...

Bucky had been contentedly munching acorns in the old oak grove when that ridiculous (ridiculously attractive his traitorous inner voice corrected him) squirrel appeared. Of course "appeared" was far too mild a word. "Plummeted out of the sky, chattering like a maniac" was much more accurate. Practically gave Bucky a heart attack. Again. 

"Steve!" He'd yelled, "you are gonna kill yourself and give me a heart attack you keep diving outta the branches like that." Bucky anxiously looked Steve over, checking for new scrapes, scratches, bruised or broken paws, or other evidence of injury. Honestly, if Bucky wasn't looking out for Steve he didn't know what misfortune would befall his reckless friend. "You are NOT a flying squirrel, no matter what Natasha told you." 

"A www Buck," Steve grumbled, "you know I always land good." He shook his tail ("magnificent, fluffy tail" Bucky definitely did not think).  
Steve kept on determinedly, "and none of that's important now." 

Bucky snorted loudly and stamped his hooves. Steve's well-being would always be important to him; if he could only find the words to tell him. But Bucky wasn't good with words. When he thought about telling Steve how much he cared for him, he felt all itchy and hot (like how he felt for days after he followed Steve into the poison oak ) and the words just wouldn't come. 

But wait, Bucky hadn't been paying attention. What mad scheme was Stevie going on about? Oooooh this didn't sound good. 

"....and Tony was scavenging in the garbage for tech that the humans just THREW AWAY last night and he heard one of the, say Farmer Fury was going to allow HUNTERS to come after Thanksgiving! And that they know about Bruce! But...but" the squirrel was talking fast, clearly upset," but they think BRUCE is responsible for those dead lambs and the missing pets!" His voice rang with indignation. "But you know, all of the woodland creatures know, that Bruce wouldn't hurt a soul. He only eats berries and acorns and HONEY! He is gentle. He just wants to be let alone in his cave." 

Bucky watched warily as his small friend, his (glorious) tail puffed up with righteous indignation. "Buck, it's just not right. We can't just sit by and stuff ourselves with nuts (here Steve glanced hungrily at the pile of acorns at Bucky's feet) while they are planning to murder our friend!"

Bucky sighed and nudged several of the fat acorns over to Steve. "Slow down, Stevie. Catch your breath. You won't help anybody by given' yourself an apoplexy." He nudged a few more acorns over, "Eat,"he said sternly. Steve glared. 

Bucky continued, his voice tinged with fond resignation, "You'll need your strength when we rescue Bruce." And how could Bucky regret anything when Steve beamed at him like that? He'd remember that thought later and wish he'd kicked himself. Damn squirrel. 

*****  
A short while later, Bucky and Steve and several of their friends-informally known as the Woodland Brigade- gathered in a small glade near Tony The Raccoon's hollow log and workshop. They consisted of Steve, Captain and leader of the band, Bucky, Tony, Bruce himself, sitting morosely near the stream, Natasha the Fox (whom Bucky still distrusted, ever since she convinced Steve to leap from the giant redwood a a few months back) and Hawkeye, a fierce red-tailed hawk with wicked talons and piercing eyes. Bucky liked Hawkeye. The bird kept him apprised of where the best grazing was, as well as keeping an eye on Steve. 

If Bucky had thought Steve was beside himself, it was nothing compared to Tony. The mischievous, but normally genial raccoon was growling with frustration over the stupidity of humans. 

Bucky knew Tony had fond feelings for Bruce. He was protective of the gentle giant in a way Bucky approve of. This, coupled with a sad childhood (both Tony's parents had been trapped and killed by hunters when he was just a kit) stoked his outrage. Sometimes Steve and Tony didn't see eye to eye (Steve didn't approve of the scavenging) but today they were united in their defense of Bruce.

Bruce had immediately apologized (unnecessarily) for causing all this trouble and nobly offered to leave the forest. "I'll head north, try to make it to the mountains before the snow gets too deep." He tried to say this bravely, but he sounded miserable.

The others immediately put the kibosh to that.

Tony, of course was the loudest. "No. Nononononono. No way Brucie, Those two legged smelly morons are not going to force you from me...ummm ....from us.... Your friends....your home!" 

Everyone else agreed and Bruce guiltily capitulated. Natasha looked approvingly at the gathered friends. She sat daintily on a small rock outcropping, her red tail tucked over her delicate black paws (it was nice, but nowhere near as fluffy as Steve's, observed Bucky objectively.)

"Now, boys. Here is the plan..."

****  
It had been a very good plan. Even though he was currently caught fast in a barbed wire fence, with the sound and smell of MAN fast approaching, Bucky couldn't find fault with Natasha's plan. 

The friends had worked to conceal Bruce's cave. They'd lay in a stock of food:the last of the berries, a big pile of acorns and chestnuts, and even a supply of honeycomb. Bruce was to STAY PUT and not wander the forest until the threat had passed. He grumbled about this, about putting his friends in danger, while he hid in a cave, but he was noisily and overwhelmingly shouted down. 

Natasha would provide security, prowling the perimeter, warning away those who did not belong. She moved swiftly and silently, a ghost in the mist. She was small, but her fangs and claws were sharp. 

Hawkeye was surveillance, the eye in the sky warning the team whence and from where trouble approached. They had all worked out a complex system of calls and cries for communication. In a pinch, Hawkeye would provide backup for Natasha, swooping down with talons and cruelly curved beak to slash at those who would dare harm his friends. 

Tony was demolition. Under cover of night, he would boldly approach the human camp and make off with their gear. What he couldn't carry away, he would sabotage with clever paws. 

This left Steve and Bucky. Steve had complained bitterly when he wasn't given the demolition assignment. Bucky had breathe a huge, and apparently audible, sigh of relief given the look of betrayal Steve shot him when Natasha gave that task to Tony. His relief didn't last long, though when Steve volunteered (VOLUNTEERED!the punk!) to spy on the camp during the daylight hours. 

Before Bucky could put his hood down, everyone else was agreeing with Steve, even lauding his courage (and the little bastard was preening!) and physical prowess. Steve was to take position in the tall maple tree at the hunters' campsite. He was to remain silent, tucked into a knothole, learn their plan and report back at nightfall. 

"You understand, Rogers?" Bucky had Steve alone at the hollow log, the others preparing for their missions. "Stay silent. Listen. Do not engage the enemy. No heroics." 

Steve looked earnestly at Bucky. His eyes bright and shining. "Of course Buck. Whadda ya take me for? Some kinda crazy thrill seeker?" He chattered fondly at Bucky and then scampered off, his tail proudly waving in the chilly November breeze. The small squirrel leapt up into the canopy, paused and scampered back to the deer. "Seriously Bucky." He spoke softly now, his expression serious, "I'll be safe. I promise. You're the one with the dangerous job. You better be careful." Steve looked Bucky in the eye, "I don't know what to do without ya. Ya jerk." He bashfully bumped his nose against Bucky's. And before Bucky could pick his jaw up from the forest floor, Steve was racing away, through the tree tops towards danger. 

Bucky watched him gracefully jumping from limb to limb, flashing through the treetops. He thought about Steve's promise to be careful, to stay safe. He knew Steve wouldn't deliberately lie, that he wouldn't mean to get into trouble...but trouble followed Steve Rogers like stink follows a skunk (and didn't that bring up an unpleasant memory of the last time Steve promised to Be Careful). 

He shook his head, snorting and stamping in annoyance. His breath blew out in steamy clouds. The morning was cold, getting colder. There would be snow by nightfall. He hoped the mission would be over before the snow started to stick to the ground. Snow was slippery, made for tricky balance, dangerous to run in. Something else to worry about, besides Steve. Because running was Bucky's job. He was The Distraction. 

If something unexpected happened, if the plan fell apart, if one of his teammates, his friends, (Steve!) was in trouble Bucky was to distract the hunters. He knew it would work. He was magnificent. An eight point buck in his prime. Strong and proud. If he had a different temperament, he, not little Stevie would be the leader of the forest. He was prize the hunters would not, could not resist. He shivered a little bit, thinking of guns and dogs and blood. Then he settled back to wait for Hawkeye's signal. He hoped Steve was ok.

*****

Later, he got the real story from Hawkeye, who saw the whole sorry scene go down as he was riding the updrafts, keeping an eye on the team. Steve successfully and uneventfully made it to the maple tree where he took up his position. The hunters didn't pay him a second glance, even when one of the dry branches rattled under his weight. Steve settled into the knot hole and listened to the men. 

He managed to stay quiet and still for ten whole minutes. Then he got bored. He tried to stay still. He really did. But if he just ventured out onto that long sturdy branch, he'd have a MUCH better view of the camp. He eased out of the indentation in the trunk of the old tree and edge carefully along the limb. There. Much better. He was directly over the camp. He saw the men, three big humans with beards and heavy boots and wickedly sharp knives at their sides. One was oiling an evil looking trap (Tony has told him all about bear traps in a horrified whisper one night last winter) while another was checking a rifle. All the creatures knew to fear the sharp crack of a hunters gun. They'd all lost friends and loved ones to the weapons and the humans that wielded them. 

The third human was....was...oh no. No nonono. The third human was poking a long stick into a wire cage. A cage that held a terrified young rabbit and her litter of baby bunnies. Steve knew this rabbit. Her name was Isabella. She and her mate Ferdinand had tried desperately to have babies, but until recently had no luck. Natasha blamed the pesticides that some farmers were spraying on their crops, but Bruce said Isabella had been experimented on by the humans in the nearby cosmetics laboratory. She'd escaped from the lab, but remained very shy, scarred emotionally by her ordeal. Izzy and Ferdy were popular with the other creatures and the whole forest had rejoiced when they announced that they were going to be parents. An out of season litter of six bunnies had been born last month. The last time Steve had seen the bunnies,they'd been safe in their burrow under the old fir tree near the meadow. 

Now, the babies and their gentle mother were prisoners. Steve felt a red hot anger bubbling through him. He broke a twig from the branch and hurled it down at the human poking Izzy. He scolded the man, "you bully! Stop it right now. You better let her go if you know what's good for you!" He grabbed another handful of twigs and launched them down. 

At first the hunters were amused at the antics of the small gray squirrel. They laughed at him and threw a few stones, which Steve easily dodged. After a while, however, they became irritated and then angry. Thy tried to chase Steve off, but ("naturally" Bucky groaned when he heard the story later) he wouldn't go. 

"Crazy critter, " the largest and ugliest of the hunters muttered, " I've had enough of it. Frank, getcher .22 and get rid of the rat." 

"Rat!" Steve was outraged. " You're the rat, you no good, cowardly..." His rant was cut off mid-sentence when a lucky shot, combined with an unlucky misstep as he dodged the bullet, made Steve slip. He wasn't hit, but he fell to the ground, stunned, his breath knocked from his tiny body. As heavy boots approached Steve muttered, "Bucky is going to be so pissed at me." Then was snatched up and tossed into a cage next to the rabbits. "So. Pissed."

****

To be continued...


	2. It's Still Steve's Fault

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Have all the animals in this damn woods gone crazy?!"  
> Or Bucky reacts to Steve's capture.

Bucky was standing silently in a thick grove of cedars, waiting for the signal. He was to serve as a distraction, luring the hunters away from their camp, and their bear trap. No hunter would be able to resist the prize his impressive antlers represented. Bucky would draw the men away, then Tony and Steve would steal into the camp and commit daring acts of sabotage. It was dangerous, but they would do anything to keep Bruce, the gentle bear safe. 

He hadn't been waiting long when a shrill scream pierced the air. Hawkeye. It was time. His heart was racing, but Bucky calmly strode toward the camp. He kept near the tree line. He needed the hunters to spot him, but wasn't foolish enough to approach directly through he meadow, where he could run faster, but would be without cover. 

As Bucky drew close, he could hear the men laughing cruelly. They were banging something metal, making a racket. Several large dogs, tied to a tree, were snarling and slavering. The noise and the smoke from the campfire didn't help his already jangled nerves, but what he saw almost made his heart stop. "No," Bucky moaned, "Oh no, nonono."

There, in the middle of the camp, next to a wickedly sharp bear trap and a metal cage full of frightened bunnies was....Steve. The squirrel was chittering furiously at the men, baring his strong teeth at them. But his front paw was angled strangely and the man were poking at him with sharp sticks. Despite Steve's agile attempts to dodge the sticks, every now and then, a blow would land. The feisty squirrel was slowing down. Bucky watched in horror as a particularly vicious jab barely missed Steve's eye. Instead it caught his ear, ripping it. Steve squealed in shock, pain and righteous indignation. 

The hunter laughed meanly, "hah. Got 'em. Pay the littlesumbitch back for biting your thumb, JR." 

JR, a huge red faced man with a dirty rag wrapped around his left hand scowled, "Payback will be when it's part of a stew. Just hope the damn thing isn't rabid. You see how it latched on? Goddamn rat."

The third man, marginally cleaned than his companions, looked up from where he was sharpening a wickedly sharp knife. "Enough. Stop playing games. If you want stew tonight, kill the thing and get it skinned."

JR grunted and picked up his .22. He stood back and began to aim the rifle. But before he could shoot, a huge shape crashed into camp, knocking him down. Hooves slashed at the man and loud, snorts filled the air. A large deer had charged out of the forest and was rampaging through the camp. 

"Jeezuz Christ! Have all the animals in this damn woods gone crazy?" The hunters gaped at Bucky, mouths gaping open. The shock wore off quickly, however, and they scrambled for their weapons. Bucky looked around wildly. How could he leave Steve? 

*****  
Steve watched in amazement as Bucky appeared out of nowhere and knocked his executioner to the ground. Instead of running back to the woods, to draw the men away, and then lose them in the dense places of the forest, he stood in the center of the camp, snorting and stomping his feet. His big liquid eyes looked at Steve and he shook his head, antlers flashing. 

Oh no. Steve knew that look. "Bucky!" He screamed, "Tony will get us out! You have to RUN!" 

His words somehow got through. Bucky stomped one last time and then raced away, the hunters in hot pursuit. He still had a job to do. He had to keep the men away from the camp long enough for Tony to not only trash the traps, but now to pick the locks of Steve's and the rabbits cages.

Th afternoon turned into a long game of hide and seek. Bucky kept the hunters on the move, away from the camp. He'd let them get close enough to keep them enticed, but not close enough to get a clean shot. He just had to keep them occupied until sundown. Then, even these guys would have to give up. Not because it was the law, but because it would be too dangerous to be in the woods after dark. He just had to hope that Tony had been able to do his part.

Bucky looked up in the sky and could barely make out Hawkeye circling far above. Was the great bird giving the all clear signal? We're the hunters gone? Could Bucky head back and reunite with his friends? Was Stevie ok? How badly had those brutes hurt him? God, if anything happened to Steve...

He should have kept his eyes on the terrain and not been staring at the sky. As he'd been distracted, Bucky was pushing through a tangle of briars. His strong antlers made short work of the brambles, and he doubted the hunters (whom he hadn't heard in some time and had probably given up a while ago) would brave the thicket. But as he looked distractedly at the sky, his foot slipped on some looks gravel and he slid down a hill...right into the barbed wire of an ancient fence that ran around the border of the meadow and Farmer Fury's pasture. 

Bucky tried to pull away from the fence, but the more he struggled, the worse he became tangled in the barbed wire. His head and neck were bent at an uncomfortable angle and a few deep scratched were starting to bleed. 

"Ok," he thought. "I just have to stay calm. The others will come find me when I don't make it back on time. Just stay calm."

And he did...until he heard the hounds baying in the distance. Baying that was drawing closer and closer. "Shit." Said Bucky.

*******  
Back at the hunting camp, once the men and dogs had bounded away after Bucky, Tony wasted no time freeing Steve and the grateful rabbits. They made quick and effective work of trashing the camp. They dragged the trap into the stream where they pounded the teeth with stones, broke the spring, and then dropped it over a waterfall. They ransacked the food stores, shredded the sleeping bags and let the air out of the truck tires. Steve and Tony both agreed that they would keep the cell phone. 

Tony wanted to drag the smaller weapons back to his stump to study, but Steve convinced him to simply scatter the ammunition and bury the rest. 

Mission accomplished, they headed back to Bruce's cave to wait for Hawkeye and Bucky. They were met by Natasha, who looked grave.  
"Steve," she said gently, "It's Bucky. He's been taken."  
****


	3. Happily ever after

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky is trapped and the hunters are fast approaching!
> 
> Complete!

Bucky froze. Louder than the hounds baying in the distance, he heard the unmistakable sound of a man striding towards him. He'd been found. Caught, held fast. His thoughts, strangely focused as he accepted that death was approaching, were along the line of, "At least the dogs didn't get here first." And then " Tony had goddamn better have freed Stevie." And then he looked up to meet his fate. The human appeared out of the forest. He looked at Bucky with an almost sympathetic expression. Then he drew his gun, took careful aim, and fired. 

***

 

Phil Coulson paid attention to the details. It was a trait that served him well during his career at SHIELD. It made him a good spy and a superlative handler. Now, retired, living in the woods and cottage near his friend Nick Fury's farm (and who ever would have thought Nick would take to raising sheep) his attention to detail is what made life interesting. Phil, truth be told, got more pleasure from watching the antics of his woodland neighbors than he ever did from surveillance footage of international baddies. He was especially captivate with a striking hawk. Phil would spend hours just watching it ride the updrafts, circling, seemingly keeping watch on the woods and meadow below. 

He got to know the patterns of the forest and he animals who lived there. So, he knew, with a sure and calm certainty that the brown bear occupying the cave down by the stream was not responsible for the deaths of Fury's lambs. He'd watched (from a respectable distance, of course) that bear all summer. The gentle beast ate honey, berries and nuts; eschewing even the plentiful fish from the nearby stream. And while any creature would lash out in self defense, the only time Phil had ever seen the bear angry was when a roving band of coyotes threatened his territory. Actually, if Phil didn't know better, he'd say the bear was really protecting the sassy raccoon who lived in a hollow log near the cave. But of course he knew better. 

So, when Phil had heard through the town grapevine that the Schmodt brothers had worn Nick down and gotten permission to go bear hunting, he didn't think twice. He'd spent a lifetime around violence and bloodshed. Some of that was necessary; some, in hindsight,was not. Either way, he Had never been the type of man to stand idly by as an injustice was carried out. He geared up and headed out into the woods. 

*****  
The forest felt different that day. The regular patterns were off. The animals were either strangely silent, or making a particularly loud racket. The young squirrel who loved to frolic in an oak grove near the cottage seemed particularly agitated. He also caught a rare glimpse of the shy red fox who usually kept her distance. Strange that she was about this early in the day. 

He hiked along a well trodden deer path, deliberately making a lot of noise. He hoped that, by hearing him moving about, the animals would be on alert and not be caught unaware by the hunters. Whenever he had a clear view to the sky, he'd look up and see "his" hawk circling. Phil wished he could communicate with him; wished he knew what he was seeing from that distance. Hmmmm...actually, the bird seemed to be in some kind of distress. He was circling frantically over a spot where the woods met the meadow, where a small ravine divided an old cow pasture from the wilder, overgrown areas. Phil decided to investigate.

***

He heard the thrashing before he saw the deer caught in the barbed wire, so he wasn't totally surprised when he drew close enough to see Bucky tangled in the old fencing. Still, his breath at the sight of such a magnificent creature in obvious distress. He paused, not wanting to panic him even more, thinking of the best way to approach. He'd freed animals from snares and traps (both natural and of human construct) but they'd been much smaller creatures: rabbits, opossums, and on one memorable occasion, a baby skunk. Never a deer, not even a fawn, let alone a buck in his prime. 

The baying of the hounds was growing steadily closer. They'd picked up Bucky's scent and were racing is way. Phil eyes the buck. He was standing stock still now, but his eyes were rolling in his head and blood was driving down his throat from the barbed wire. Phil knew what he had to do. He swung his rifle to his shoulder and shot Bucky with a tranquilizer dart.

***  
When Bucky woke up, he was laying under an apple tree near the woodsman's cottage. He was familiar with this place. When he was a fawn, when the place was uninhabited, he and Steve would come here to eat the windfall apples. At the thought of his friend, Bucky tried to get to his feet and go in search of the brash squirrel. But he was still dizzy and wobbly as a newborn. He hoped against all hope that Steve was ok, that he'd drawn the hunters away from their camp and that Tony had been able to free his best friend. Bucky didn't know what he'd do without Steve. 

He felt eyes on him and raised his head enough to see the human watching him from inside the cottage. He'd seen this man ... This Phil...before. He fed the birds, and was respectful of the forest and all its inhabitants. Bucky remembered a pang of disappointment and disbelief when Phil had raised his weapon and pointed at Bucky. But here he was. Alive, not caged. Just a few scratches and a woozy feeling to show he'd had any adventure at all.

After a few more minutes, Bucky felt steady enough to stand. As he turned towards the forest, toward the cave where his friends, where Steve should be waiting, he looked more time at Phil. Not bad, for a human, he thought. Then he bounded away to find his friends.

****

They'd needed to sit on Steve. When Hawkeye reported in and told them all that Bucky had successfully outrun the first band of hunters only to fall prey to the woodsman, Steve had reacted...poorly. He'd been ready to charge the cottage right then and there and only calmed down when Bruce was forced to hold him down (gently) with on massive paw. 

Steve had been sobbing quietly in the knothole of the big oak, when Natasha sat straight up, alert, her ears quivering. Tony immediately began to pepper her with question, but before she could speak, Bucky strolled into the clearing. 

Pandemonium erupted as the friends reunited. Everyone was talking at once, noses were rubbed, and eventually, the lot of them ended up in a big pile in the back of Bruce's cave. It had started to rain outside, but the cave was warm and dry and they were together. 

They each took a turn telling their story of what happened. Bucky was not at all pleased to hear how Steve had goaded the hunters, but when he learned about how brave he'd been just to save the bunnies, he gave him a friendly nudge and a fond smile. "Never change Stevie, you crazy fluffball." Steve grinned shyly back. They curled up together and fell fast asleep.

*****  
The next day, Hawkeye flew an early morning reconnaissance and was happy to report that the hunting camp was abandoned. The men had gone away empty handed. Bruce was safe, Isabella Bunny and her children had been reunited with the colony, and Bucky and Steve were back to their normal routine.

They were heading to to the old abandoned or hand to look for black walnuts when they paused. Ahead, posted on a tree was a bright orange sign. Farmer Fury and Woodman Phil were busy attaching them to fence posts as well. Bucky and Steve waited until the humans were done and then, ever curious, wandered over to see what this new thing was.

Steve, who Bucky admitted, was a very clever (as well as handsome) squirrel laughs when he read:

NO TRESPASSING  
NO TRAPPING  
and absolutely  
NO HUNTING ALLOWED

 

He nodded, satisfied and said, "well, Buck, we won't have to worry about those bozos anymore." and then hollered, "Race you to the orchard!" Before Bucky could accept the challenge, Steve launched himself into the trees and began tearing through the canopy. Bucky raced along the forest floor, trying to keep an eye on the squirrel. 

"Slow down, you reckless... Gonna give me a heart attack...Steve! You are NOT a flying squirrel!" 

And they lived happily ever after until the end of their days together.  
The end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clearly this is a work of fiction. Wild animals are wild and should never be approached. Even the most gentle creature can lash out if injured or afraid. Plus, don't piss them off or they will sabotage your house, your car and take your stuff. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this bit of silliness. Wishing you all the joy of the holiday season, however you choose or choose not to celebrate.


End file.
